


what this blood knows

by yuki_w



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-03-11 16:18:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuki_w/pseuds/yuki_w
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>begins at the final scene of 5.13</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know. That one was me. It was my fault, I take responsibility. I wasn't in the moment. If I'd stayed in the moment, if I'd stayed present, I would've been okay, but I didn't. I was thinking about where we're going next. So I left the moment just when I should have been completely in the moment, which is when people usually leave the moment, cuz the moment is just too much for them - the moment is pretty much always too much.  
> -Charlie Crews, "Life"

 

"No no no no no no no no no –" Nathan murmured a litany as he watched aether flow out of Duke to form ungodly blots of ink in the sky. A few hours later, he would not remember what he said to dispatch, or even calling at all, but Charlotte would tell him that he made the call even before all the aether left Duke, and that she was impressed by how he handled the situation. The dispatch recording would capture the trailing end of the panicked "no"s at the beginning of the call, but neither Nathan nor Charlotte would ever listen to it.

Once it was over, Audrey and Charlotte rushed to Duke's body and leaned over it. Duke was still, his face ashen, his lips blue. Nathan stood farther, apart from them, and said, "Ambulance is on its way," because there was nothing else for him to say. He could not find a place for his eyes to settle and felt as if he was being forced to witness something he wanted no part of.

As Charlotte reached to locate a pulse, Duke's arm bent, hitting her, then straightened again. His joints bent and straightened of their own accord, his limbs jerking rhythmically.

"He's seizing. Help me get him on his side." Charlotte said to Audrey. They worked with difficulty to move him, as the involuntary movements continued. Nathan thought that he should help them, but he couldn't move. _Don't._ Duke's hands opened and closed, grasping at nothing. _Don't go._ Charlotte was speaking to Audrey, but Nathan couldn't hear what she was saying. _Please don't go._ Duke's elbow dug into the ground repeatedly, making a small indentation in the dirt. His head shifted in Charlotte's hands, in time with his limbs. It went on. Nathan closed his eyes.

After some time, he felt a hand sliding into the curve of his hand. Audrey.

Nathan opened his eyes, but Audrey was no longer looking at him. Her grip was gentle but firm, and Nathan knew what she meant. He had to be here for this. He knelt down beside her, by the still body of their friend. Audrey's eyes were unfocused by the tears tracking down her face, and when she spoke, Nathan honestly didn't know whether she was speaking to him, Duke, or herself.

"It's okay," Audrey breathed. "It's okay. You're going to be okay."

 

~~

 

"Tonic-clonic seizure, about eight minutes," was the first thing Charlotte said to the paramedics. "No injuries, as far as I can tell. Airway is clear."

"Cause of onset?"

"I don't know," Charlotte said, seeming to realize the truth of her statement only after she'd spoken.

The paramedics moved quickly, with Charlotte reciting what vitals she could observe and Nathan and Audrey following close behind. Once the stretcher was secured, one of the paramedics leaned out from the back of the vehicle."Oh, wait, heyheyhey!" He waved his palm side to side in a negatory gesture. "I can take two of you, max. We need space to work."

Nathan and Audrey looked at each other. She gave him a quick hug and took the keys to the Bronco.

 

~~

 

Audrey was waiting for him at the hospital. The sight of her warmed and strengthened Nathan, as it always did.

"Hey." It was the first thing Nathan said since speaking to the dispatcher. They embraced in the hallway, longer than a greeting. He touched her hair and breathed in the scent of her, thankful beyond words that Audrey had remained Audrey.

She leaned back slightly, still holding onto him, their hips almost touching "How is he?"

"Alive." Nathan exhaled roughly. "He hasn't woken up yet."

Audrey frowned. "How are you?"

"How am I? I – " he searched for the right words. "I...I thought – " He looked at her and knew that she could see his fear, even his guilt. She could always read the subtleties of his expressions, it was one of many amazing things about her.

"Hey," she said, looking into his eyes and gripping his arms with both hands for emphasis. "Duke's not going anywhere. And neither am I. We can deal with this, we will. Okay?" She searched his face for the effect of her words. Nathan nodded wearily, allowing his faith in Audrey to override all else in his mind.

 

~~

 

Audrey was worried. Nathan hadn't slept in almost 24 hours and could not feel the signals of fatigue his body would be sending him were it not for his Trouble. Coaxing him to rest hadn't worked. She'd begun to contemplate drugging him.

Nathan refused to leave the hospital, spending his time alternating between pacing, harassing medical staff, and looking through the Crocker family journal, which Audrey had no idea how he found amidst the chaos of the past few hours. He read the journal with the intensity of exam preparation and carried it like a talisman. She didn't know what he expected to find in there. What had happened was novel. That much was clear to her. Whatever answers they needed, it wasn't in the journal. But Audrey didn't want to argue with him about this. She needed him to rest, and she needed him to think clearly. Fatigue, distress, or a combination thereof was causing Nathan to miss the context of the situation they were in.

Countless new Troubles had to be dealt with. She'd heard from Dwight that the town was sealed somehow; no one could get in or out of Haven. And that there was talk amongst the Guard of killing Duke. No one seriously believed it would achieve anything but simple vengeance, but passions were high and Audrey wasn't entirely confident that Vince or Dwight could maintain control over the Guard's more impassioned members. People were scared, and trapped. A few acts of desperation, and the town would be in complete disorder. Haven needed Nathan, and right now all of Nathan's attention was on one resident.

"Hey, you." Alright, maybe two. Audrey felt a familiar lanky arm drape across her shoulders. "What are you thinking about? You look...perplexed."

"I'm thinking...I need to to sleep," Audrey decided to say. "And you – " she jabbed a finger at him "- you do too. Just...come lie down with me for a few hours. Charlotte's still running tests; there's nothing for you to do right now. I have been up for as long as you have, and trust me, we will not be able to function if we don't get some sleep."

They found a room with a single bed that would remain unoccupied, courtesy of Gloria. Such a wise, kind woman. Audrey barely had to open her mouth to ask; Gloria took one look at her with Nathan in tow and knew what was needed.

Audrey's eyes fluttered shut as she and Nathan nestled together in the dark. Being near him comforted her, as an affirmation of her being. She hoped that she offered the same measure of comfort to him. And if not comfort, whatever else he needed.

She was drifting off and thought him already asleep when she heard Nathan speak, quiet and slightly raspy.

"Do you know what his plan was?"

"What?" Audrey murmured, turning slightly. She didn't know what he was talking about and wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.

"His plan," Nathan said, his voice heavy with sarcasm and anger, "was to get to the thinny with Mara's help, go through it, and explode, inside the void." Duke. He was talking about Duke. "I couldn't let him do that." As Audrey said nothing, Nathan struggled briefly for an explanation before deciding Audrey needed none. "It's a stupid plan," he huffed.

No, it's not, Audrey thought. Duke didn't want his Troubles to hurt the people around him. He was trying to do the right thing. But she knew what Nathan meant. "Someone I know had a plan just as stupid not too long ago," she teased gently. Nathan didn't respond, and for a moment she thought she'd mis-stepped, taken the conversation somewhere Nathan was not ready to go. But then she felt more than heard Nathan's chuckle.

"That was different."

"Riiiight," Audrey drawled. She swung an arm over Nathan's shoulder and turned her face to his, barely visible in the dark. "Remind me not to let the two of you make any more plans."

 

~~

 

When Nathan woke, Audrey was gone. His watch, the only indication of time in the windowless room, read 7:42 AM. On a rolling cart next to the bed was a change of clothes and a note from Audrey, in her neat, bubbly handwriting:

 

In field with Dwight. Call me with updates. Before you do anything else, eat something.

love,

A

 

Nathan nodded at the note as if Audrey could see his acquiescence.

 

 

~~

 

 

Charlotte was looking through a very full clipboard when Nathan entered her office. She nodded an absent-minded, barely perceptible greeting to him. He raised his eyebrows slightly at her.

"I've got..." she turned her head away from her clipboard, her eyes following a few seconds after – "I've got most of my results back. But I think I have what I need already..." She trailed off into silence as her attention returned to her documents. She turned a page and frowned slightly. The silence stretched, with only Nathan noticing.

Nathan cleared his throat. "What do – look, can you just tell me if he's going to be okay?"

"Most likely, yes -" Charlotte began.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Duke's MRI scan shows cerebral edema and localized residual signal intensity, but no structural damage. I'm thinking postictal state..." Charlotte nodded to herself and looked back down. Nathan's brow furrowed. His lips pursed, forming the beginning of a question – "Does Duke have epilepsy?" Charlotte said to her clipboard.

"What?" Nathan got his question out, a moment before registering what Charlotte had asked him.

Nathan's mouth opened and closed as his eyes flicked around the room. He skimmed over his catalogue of Duke memories with this new hypothesized lens, considered whether it was possible for Duke to have hidden something like that from him.

"Does Duke – "

"No."

"Okay. What about any recent head trauma?"

The first thing that came to Nathan's mind was the head trauma Duke had recently inflicted on _him_. Had he hit Duke's head on something hard during their scuffle? Possibly. Probably not. He couldn't be sure. He couldn't tell something like that without seeing blood. Couldn't properly control or feel the force of his own blows.

"None that I know of."

Charlotte nodded and jotted some things down.

"Wait – " Nathan understood so little of what Charlotte had said that he had difficulty forming a question. "Go back. What did you say – Why did you just ask me – "

"Barring any pre-existing neurological condition or injury, I'm thinking the aether's exit from Duke must have caused a generalized seizure. But – if that's the case, it's an isolated event. His vitals look good, and there was no structural damage" Charlotte added quickly, sensing Nathan's sudden alarm. "It'll take a little time for his brain to recover, but he should be fine."

Nathan nodded, trying to process everything she had said.

"Do you want to see him?"

 

~~

 

Nathan honestly wasn't sure if he really wanted to see Duke. His desire to be present for Duke outweighed his desire to avoid the discomfort of actually seeing Duke by only a small margin. Nathan felt that balance shift precariously when he entered the room. He did not make a dash for the exit - he would not be that cowardly - also, Charlotte was with him.

Duke's coloring looked better than before.

"He may... seem different when he wakes up, but if that happens it will be temporary-" What Charlotte said next overlapped with two other people attempting to communicate.

" – I doubt – " Charlotte.

"What do you mean?" Nathan.

A sharp rap sounded on the door.

Dwight stood by the open door, looking only at Charlotte. "We need to talk," he said to her, signifying only with his body lanuage _alone_ and _now_. Charlotte looked quickly at Nathan then at Dwight. Nathan and Dwight did not look at each other.

"Okay." She said, sounding apprehensive, but she nodded and went with him.

Nathan looked after them, trying to discern what had just happened. He called Audrey, hoping to find out what she and Dwight had been doing and also just to hear her voice. No answer. He texted her, first just to say 'call me back.' Realizing he should probably let her know Duke was okay, he sent another text, trying to relate the things that Charlotte had said to the best of his understanding. Then, Nathan did something he really should not have done. He looked up the effects of generalized seizures on WebMD. Confusion. Lack of responsiveness. Decreased verbal and interactive skills. Loss of bowel and bladder control. Loss of motor function. Nausea. Muscle aches. Migraine. Hypertension. Exhaustion. Depression. Euphoria. Amnesia. Temporary numbness, blindness, or deafness.

Anyone walking by the room would have seen a man sitting with a slight frown on his face, but otherwise calm. He was not freaking out visibly, because that was not how Nathan Wuornos freaked out. A freaked out Nathan Wuornos looks pretty much like a slightly angry Nathan Wuornos, an anger mild enough to be justified by a delayed first cup of coffee. Nathan gripped his phone, his middle fingernail being pushed out of its bed, the tendons of his forearms taut and visible. Racing thoughts grew into scenarios then eventualities. He stood up and walked out of the building. He made it to the privacy of the driver's seat of his truck, still holding his phone with much more force than necessary, and shut the door with much more force than necessary. Then, Nathan sat. To anyone who might pass by and see him, he looked fine.

 

~~

 

The walk to Charlotte's office was silent. The awkwardness of their body language and the way they glanced at each other at separate times could be rivaled only by two teenagers at school who had lost their virginity to each other the night before.

Dwight closed the door behind him. The sound seemed very loud to Charlotte, in their silence.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Dwight began, his head tilted slightly back, arms folded, looking down at Charlotte at an angle she'd never experienced before.

"I – " she began. Much of what she wanted to say to Dwight, what she had been practicing in her mind, had nothing to do with the Troubled town. "I'm not sure. I didn't expect or cause any of this." She frowned. "Not intentionally, at least."

Dwight nodded curtly. "Not intentionally, that's great."

"Hey, I am trying to help here,"Charlotte said, her voice rising, suddenly defensive. "I am trying to understand what's happening as much as you are."

Dwight looked away and down. Charlotte could not see his face, but his shoulders dropped visibly, and she thought maybe he believed her.

"Audrey..." Dwight began again, slowly, "told me about the new Troubles Duke released. Really ugly ones, according to Mara. There's some barrier surrounding Haven – I tried to leave but I just ended up back where I started. We've got most people convinced it's a freakish weather pattern, but it's only a matter of time before the truth comes out, and when it does..." he trailed off.

Charlotte understood. "You can't let that happen."

"So, tell me. How do we fix this?"

He asked as if he was certain she knew the answer. She didn't know whether to be pleased or frustrated that he had this much faith in her.

"I need more information. Perhaps samplings of the barrier, to learn of its makeup. Measurements of barometric pressure and temperature near it, its length and height if observable – are you certain it surrounds the entire town?"

"I've tried the main road and a couple of others. It looks like it does, but I'll do a thorough sweep of the town perimeter, get your measurements at the same time."

"I'll go with you," she said impulsively. She spoke again, before he could articulate any protest. "I don't know what my daughter has done, but I know her capabilities and how she thinks, and that will be of use."

Dwight thought for a moment, then looked at her and nodded. "What about the aether? Can that stuff be sucked back up?"

"It's...complicated." Charlotte didn't know how much to share nor how to explain what she did know. "It's not sentient, but it... can be guided closely at best. The level of control depends on the user... I need to work with Duke, to learn about the nature of the aether he released, the conditions of its entry, the level of control he had – that is what needs to happen."

"See that it does." Dwight's face closed, and she knew the conversation was over. He certainly knew how to keep it professional. It stung. He was already walking out as he instructed where and when to meet him. Then, over his shoulder, an afterthought he seemed almost embarrassed to disclose: "Is he okay?"

"He will be."

Dwight was gone a half-second before her last vowel ended.

 

~~

 

Duke's eyes opened. It was bright, and there was a face. A man's face, making muffled, underwater sounds. Duke's eyes closed.

Jennifer was going diving for the first time. She was too excited to be nervous, as they sat on the deck and he went over the plan one more time. She looked cute in a wetsuit.

His head hurt. Had he come up too quickly? The surface of the water was unusually bright. The other part of partly cloudy, he thought. Someone not Jennifer was calling his name. Duke pushed out of the water.

Nathan? Nathan. Nathan's face, in bright, pulsating outline. An expression Duke had never seen before. Nathan's mouth was moving, but the sound was garbled and mostly inaudible.

Something was wrong. Nathan looked and sounded funny. And there was a hand, a hand on his head, that he was pretty sure was attached to Nathan. Something was really wrong. He tried to ask, _You okay? What's going on?_ but he couldn't get his mouth moving.

The light hitting Nathan's face made the edges of his features pulse and strobe. Duke squeezed his eyes shut, certain that he would puke if he looked at Nathan's face for one more second.

 

~~

 

"This is going to knock him out again," the nurse said apologetically. Nathan watched as Duke's features relaxed and his breathing evened out again.

Nathan sat back, his own breathing slowing as well. He calmed, though a peculiar discomfort remained.

This was unfamiliar territory. Duke had seen Nathan hurt before, had bandaged him up, had taken him to the hospital on more than one occasion. Nathan had never seen Duke this vulnerable. Even when they openly showed their affection for each other, naked in the field that Nathan would always think of as theirs, Duke let his guard down, to enjoy himself, for only moments at a time. With the exception of Jennifer, Duke had never allowed anyone to see his pain, preferring instead to deflect with humor or hole up like an injured wild animal. Nathan could work with that. Preferred that, to the present situation.

It scared Nathan to see Duke not being annoyingly talkative with his excessive, almost theatrical gestures.

A selfish impatience rose in him. Would you just wake up and be okay, he wanted to demand. There's so much I forgot to... tell you... ask you, give you. Stop being such a prick.

 

~~

 

When Duke opened his eyes again, everything looked much more normal. Bland tiles on the ceiling pressed against each other, absolutely still. He turned his head to the side. The arm of a chair, above it, a jacket sleeve. They stayed still too. Good.

"Hey. How's your head?"

Duke blinked at Nathan, his expression neutral. Nathan's thoughts went unbridled: he can't hear me he doesn't understand me he doesn't recognize me he can't speak – then, in Duke's classic cocksure intonation, "It's okay. How's yours?" The sound was raspy and weak, but it was familiar, and all Duke. "You," Duke croak-drawled, "look terrible. Like shit." He paused. "Like shit leaking out of roadkill. Like –"

"Asshole." Nathan interrupted, a grin spreading over his face. Duke looked tired for someone who'd already been sleeping for more than a day, but Nathan took that in glad stride for _conscious_ and _interacting_. "How are you feeling?"

Duke considered. He had a slight headache and felt exhausted, but his stomach was settled, and whatever strange trip his eyes and ears were on had thankfully ended. He was good. "Several grades above roadkill." _But this conversation's not going to last much longer if I don't get some coffee_ , he thought.

Nathan asked carefully, "What do you remember?"

Duke looked at the ceiling, considering. "I – um...hang on." He did remember. There were a lot of things he remembered. He just needed to figure out what the most recent thing was. And fast, because he did not like the look taking shape on Nathan's face. "Audrey - you were going to meet Audrey. Where is she? Is she alright?

"Yeah. She's better now, thanks to Dr. Cross. I should probably call – "

"Mara." Duke's momentary relief from hearing about Audrey's recovery was replaced by an urgency edging on desperation. "I still need Mara. We have to find her, Nathan. The last Trouble I – dammit Nathan, I can't be here. We have to find her before I release another Trouble." Duke pushed himself up with difficulty, against his own waterlogged body and Nathan's hands.

"Hey, hey, calm down. _I_ , not we. Look, I'll find Mara. Whoever took her knew you were looking for her and got the drop on you. You need to stay put. Let me handle it."

Duke looked at Nathan, unsure. Then, he lay back and nodded.

The guilt Nathan felt was tiny compared to his relief.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited to add - song i listened to while writing this chapter was Hunter by Still Parade


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We step into and we do not step into the same rivers. We are and we are not.  
> -Heraclitus, Homeric Questions 24 Oelmann

 

Dwight stood near his truck as Charlotte took measurements and collected samples in a field at the town's edge. His hunch was right; the barrier was present at every inch of Haven's borders. No way in and no way out.

The air smelled of cool spring mud. As he waited, he looked around and realized that they were not far from where he'd first revealed his Trouble to Charlotte. _Damn fool, believed everything she said, didn't you?_ \- he judged himself – _Always had a thing for waif-ish women._

"This doesn't have the composition of normal fog," Charlotte remarked, "no change in temperature or humidity. We walked through it and ended up right back here. When you drove through it, did you get back to where you were faster than it took us to walk through?"

Dwight thought for a moment and frowned. "No. It took the same amount of time both times."

Charlotte nodded. "That's what I expected. This is more of an entry way than a barrier. It's as if the space surrounding the town has been looped back into itself"

"You've seen something like this before?"

"Not to this scale. Space looping, at a much smaller scale, is a common skill for people of my world. Mostly used for amusement, practical jokes, some conveniences such as keeping small pets in a particular area... I have no idea how Mara managed something like this."

"Can you undo it?"

"At this moment, no. I don't have enough power to peel it back – I suppose you might say – manually. And I don't have enough information right now to guess the conditions. Conditions can be used when setting up a loop, the benefit being that undoing a conditioned loop requires no additional energy input from the maker, or anyone else. The conditions just have to be met."

"What kind of conditions?"

"It can be just about anything – anything knowable to the maker. For example, when hosting a dinner party, you can set a loop for your cat to remain in a certain area until all the guests have left, and the loop will behave in that way, whether or not you are still present when they have left. You can't set it for things you really cannot know, such as, when all the guests are full, or when all the guests are happy."

"...and somehow the...loop...can just _know_ when the guests are gone?" Dwight's face was pure disbelief.

"Yes. Conditioned loops are imbued with their makers' capacity for knowing. I can set a loop to expire when a certain alarm sounds – but a deaf person could not." Dwight shook his head, on the edge of disbelief to bowed over. "Many tools in my world are semi-sentient," Charlotte added.

"Alright," Dwight said to himself. Then, to Charlotte: "This – loop – it's gotta go. Tell me what needs to happen here."

Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment and thought. "I'm almost certain this loop is conditioned. Mara wouldn't set up something like this, when I'm the only one who could possibly open it back up – that's not her idea of fun. Finding and fulfilling the condition – or conditions – is our best bet. And for that to happen, I need more information. Conversations with people she interacted with recently would be a good start."

Dwight looked at her, with a dimpled budding half-smile. It was almost the same as how he'd looked at her before.

"Then let's get what you need."

 

~~

 

Nathan stayed with Duke a while longer, easing from his fib-improv to shooting the shit. A few blessed minutes of near-normality, until he noticed Duke tanking and made his exit.

On his way out, a perky-looking nurse wearing cartoon scrubs walked squarely into Nathan. He turned to give her space, then realized the nurse's attention was no longer on her phone but solely on him.

"Oh!" She seemed pleased. "Hi. Hi Mr. Wuornos!"

"How-"

"The sign-in sheet," she tilted her triangular mound of frizzled red hair towards the floor's nurses station and grinned. "We umm... we've seen you around here quite a lot recently. I don't want to embarrass you, but, I – couldn't help noticing - " she lowered her voice - "It's really sweet, how gentle you are with him" – Nathan looked at her blankly – "your boyfriend" – Nathan frowned – "oh! Or – or - husband. I'm sorry, it's legal in Maine. I shouldn't presume." She took a deep breath. "Anyway, I can just tell you two have something really special. I mean, I wish _my_ boyfriend – well, never mind." She giggled and waved the thought away. "You know, I have to say, what I saw - it's not only _legitimate_ love, it's inspirational." Her voice tightened and her eyes became misty. "I just – wish you guys the best." She nodded and patted Nathan on the arm, then continued on to wherever she was going.

Nathan looked after her, his eyes rounded to almost perfect circles.

He drove home for a change of clothes before going to Audrey's place for the night. The space above the Grey Gull had become, to him, territory in the same class as the deck and cabin of the Cape Rouge. She wasn't home yet. He went downstairs to order dinner, and as he waited, he busied himself with nudging the Laundry Pile into a more obscure place and ridding her room of the empty and near-empty coffee cups she'd collected since his last visit. It amused him that Audrey was messy in a way that Duke could never be or stand, and how it contrasted with the way they presented themselves to the outside world.

"Am I smelling what I think I'm smelling?" were the first words out of Audrey's mouth when she arrived.

Nathan glanced back at her from the table. "Yup."

She exhaled in excitement as she threw her jacket over the couch. "I haven't had drunken noodles in years!"

"Weekly special. Enjoy it while you can; I don't think Haven residents are ready for something this intense to be a rotating special."

She joined him at the table and they dug in. "Hm," she chuckled around a piece of chicken. "Town's going to hell, but the Gull's serving up... really authentic Thai food."

"What's going on?" he asked quietly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "What did you and Dwight do today?"

"We-" she started. A crease of doubt formed between her eyebrows "You sure you wanna hear about this right now?

"Yeah." He nodded at her. _I'm fine._ "Tell me."

"We tried all the main roads in the morning. Dwight confirmed this afternoon – there's no way in or out of Haven. We still don't know why. The weather pattern story's holding up for now, but I don't know what he's going to do when people start finding out the truth. And the Guard – " She paused suddenly, and reached for a drink of water. "The Guard won't be easy to control then. A little bit of good news, if you could call it that: whatever new Troubles got released, they don't seem to have activated all at the same time. Still, Haven PD's keeping busy. Homicide reported this morning at a house by Gerry's Lake. This woman killed her husband. When we got there, all she would say was "I did it," over and over. She wouldn't say anything else. But she wasn't saying it like 'I'm the one who killed him, arrest me,' I heard her saying it before we even got inside, quiet and...excited? She had this look on her face... like she'd won a prize. We had a low-key disturbance at the bank – unarmed guy, trying to take everyone's cash withdrawals. Very upfront about it too. Oh, and, on my way here? I found an asthmatic kid lying on the side of the road. Had to double back to the hospital. When he got enough air to talk, he said he was training for a marathon – can you believe it?"

As they ate and talked, the light from the windows stretched, warmed, and faded

"What about you?" she concluded. "How was your day?"

Nathan cleared his throat. "I didn't do much. Hospital, then here." He stood up and began clearing the table. "Glad Duke's better. I was going to kill him if he didn't wake up soon," he said to the counter and the tiny sink.

Audrey's lips quirked and pressed together in a concealed smile. The smile faded as her thoughts turned, and she hesitated before speaking. "Me too. But, how is he doing, with – with what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Nathan stalled.

"I mean, he exploded. Exactly the thing he was trying to prevent from happening, in Haven. Even if he hasn't said anything, he probably feels – "

"I didn't tell him." Nathan walked back around and stood leaning against the back of the couch, staring at his shoes. "He doesn't remember, and I didn't tell him.

" _Nathan._ " She'd meant admonishment, but what came out was softer.

"He thinks we're still looking for Mara. He doesn't even remember being turned into a Trouble bomb."

"Okay." Audrey let that sink in for a minute. "He's going to figure it out eventually – you know that, right?" Nathan only scowled and kept his eyes on the floorboards. "I think you just need to apologize and tell him the truth," Audrey said quietly. "I get it. I do. But... Nathan, this isn't right."

"Well, what's right? Telling him he - was used - to release these Troubles, when we know he had no control over what happened _and_ we know he'll blame himself anyway, if he finds out what actually happened?"

She swallowed and looked down. He couldn't see her eyes, only a tiny movement of her eyelashes. "I don't know. I don't know."

 

~~

 

_The stinging sensation all over Mara's body told her she'd been in for too long already. She'd moved too quickly and was now lying on, or hanging from, her back. Impossible to tell. The space around her shifted again, liquid green and black. She moved with its rhythm, and it allowed the movement this time. A few beats more, and a familiar hand, then an arm appeared next to her. The hand gripped her arm, and her mother's face appeared._

_"There's another one behind me, go."_

_"Where's Dad?"_

_"Mara,_ go _." Her mother's voice was insistent, her face expressionless._

 _"We can't go without Dad," as she spoke, she felt herself melting, leaking into the Void. It lasted only a few moments, and then the rhythm was different. She was being re-formed. Saved._ Pushed. _Her mother was next to her. They were almost there._

_"No. No, let go of me. Let GO of me!" Where had they come from? Which way was behind? She flailed, not knowing which way to pull, to look and keep looking. "DAD!"_

 

~~

 

She didn't know what woke her. She checked - no new messages or calls. Audrey lay on her stomach, hearing only Nathan's soft breaths by her shoulder. She looked at him. His lips were slightly parted. He'd pinned his arm mercilessly under the pillow at an angle that ensured numbness, Trouble or no Trouble. She sighed and gently released the limb. He made a small sound, of protest or relief. She dropped her head down, facing him across her folded arm. A few more breaths, and he reached out to her and opened his eyes. She hadn't meant to wake him, but she was glad she did.

"You'rawake. Wha's goin on?"he slurred.

"I repositioned you to save your arm from necrosis."

"Thanks." He smiled – or smirked, she couldn't tell in the darkness – and leaned over to kiss her. She opened her lips to his and something in her bloomed. She shifted a hip, slid her hand into the hair at the back of his head, and rolled on top of him.

"Parker –" She pressed her lips to his, suddenly hungry, desperate to have him. He yielded to her, words swallowed, lips soft and open to receive her. She felt the need to seal the space between them with her mouth. He tasted imperative to life. Blood pounded in her ears. She came up for air and peered at the clock. Still several hours till daylight.

She nuzzled his chin, his collarbone, then lifted her spine, writhing downward, feasting.

 

~~

 

A salted caramel latte was a small gesture, but it wasn't nothing, Charlotte told herself as she pulled up the last of her results on the screen. Dwight sat perched on a stool next to her. When he'd arrived at her office, a temporary workspace turned to Troubles Research Central, he seemed distant, professional – but not cold. And he'd brought her something that she'd mentioned liking only once. It wasn't nothing.

"I'm sorry this couldn't be more helpful. If I had baseline samples I could compare..." she trailed off as her eyes darted side to side down the page, scanning once more for a previously unseen pattern, some quantification that would bear meaning. There was none.

Charlotte's mind ran over the limited methods of research she could conduct without the use of lab equipment. She would no longer have to hide those methods, which would make the job easier and faster. Perhaps once she presented her findings to Dwight, he would see that she wanted only to help and forgive her for her deception. Once they acted on her findings, Haven's residents would be safe again. Dwight's mind would be at ease; he would be open to hearing her apology and explanation and they could -

"Were you ever a real doctor?"

The tone of his words brought her back to the reality of where they were. It shouldn't hurt, coming from someone his age, of his world, but it did. Knowing Dwight forced her to concede the meaninglessness of objective measurements such as age. This man was far wiser than almost everyone she'd ever met, more kind than herself in all honesty, and, apparently, more sensitive than her deceased husband. And he had power over her, almost right from the beginning.

Charlotte focused on closing the documents she'd presented and organizing the papers that had spread around them to hide her disappointment. When she spoke, it was to the desk.

"When someone from my world comes to yours, we don't appear as _new_ entities. We take on - our equivalents. I believe- " she paused and finally looked at him. "I _am_ Charlotte Cross. As much as Dave is Dave. The only difference is that Dave does not remember that other part of his self, and I do."

"How is that possible? What happened to the Charlotte Cross that was living her life here before you came along?"

"She still exists, as a separate physical entity. I just have all of her memories." Dwight's brow furrowed and remained that way. "Haven't you ever looked back on earlier parts of your life, younger versions of yourself you know and accept as you but no longer practice? Or, behave differently, access different parts of yourself, depending on context? You see, if you were to go into my world, you would still be Dwight and remember being Dwight, here. You would also remember the past of your equivalent as your own past and be whoever that person is, too. You would be both. There would be no conflict of identities or confusion. You would know with certainty that you are both."

"So there's a version of... everyone here... there? Are there other versions in other worlds? How do the versions match up? When somebody dies – "

Dwight cut himself off when his phone rang. He reached into his pocket – "Gloria?"

The crossed arms, tapping foot, and sour expression made it impossible for Gloria to look any more impatient when Charlotte and Dwight met her in the basement of the hospital.

"In here." She jerked her head toward the utility closet behind her as they approached. In continuous movement, Dwight took long strides toward the closet and swung the door open.

Inside the closet was Duke, bent over a top shelf, holding a wire stripper in his mouth while fiddling with something they couldn't see. He stood in an open gown that concealed only the most private part of his body's profile. He'd turned his head a moment after the door opened, a comically innocent look of surprise on his face. The wire stripper clattered to the floor and his hands abandoned what he was working on to adjust and hold his gown closed.

Gloria allowed a beat of silence for everyone, then – "Okay, I've got bodies waiting." She turned and gave Dwight two brisk pats on the arm.

"I asked you for _pants_ ," Duke said, in a lilting whine that conveyed utter betrayal.

"Yeah." Gloria agreed dryly, and walked off.

There was collective relief when the long, awkwardly silent, and brightly lit elevator ride ended. Dwight made Duke walk in front of him, despite Duke's joke about his motive and despite the fact that Duke didn't know where they were going.

"I knew this was going to happen." Duke muttered under his breath as Dwight closed the door to Charlotte's office. "Why are we - Why is _she_ here?" He gestured at Charlotte with an extended arm. "To watch me, take notes?

"Actually I think another day or so of observation wouldn't hurt – "Charlotte began.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, man?"

"God, between you and Nathan – I am sick of being asked to explain myself!"

"You think you can just go off and do your own thing, after all that's happened? Not a good idea. That's not helpful – it's not even safe. People in the Guard are afraid of you, Duke. People tend to want to get rid of what they're afraid of."

"Fine. Let the tattooed man come. At this point, I _can't_ let out any more Troubles!"

Dwight nodded. "I figured that would be the case." The sympathetic look he gave Duke was accepted but misinterpreted. "Like it or not, you're going to have to work with her, Duke."

"What, are you going to taze me again?"

Dwight looked slightly embarrassed. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I did what I thought was needed at the time." _Always had a thing for waif-ish women._ Duke's face went from anger to uncertainty. An apology wasn't what he was expecting. "What's needed right now is for you to work with Charlotte."

Duke shook his head. "No... what's needed right now is for me to find Mara, and aether, for her to fix me."

Charlotte and Dwight looked at each other, and their mutual gaze continued until it became too challenging for Duke's patience. His eyes darted between the two of them. "...What?"

"Duke..." Charlotte began hesitantly. "Mara's dead, remember? It was why you exploded; she tied herself to the Troubles she gave you, that were released when she died. Do you remember - any of it? "

"Wait." Duke held a hand up, as if to hold back encroaching reality for one more moment. "No, that can't be right. Nathan said that he would help me look for Mara."

Charlotte frowned. "You must be thinking of an earlier conversation. We saw – I saw the largest amount of aether I have ever seen existing outside of the Void come out of you."

Duke looked helplessly at Dwight.

"She's telling the truth, man. I heard about it from Audrey. She was there too."

Duke slowly turned away from both of them and wandered to the window, from where the gray haze of the barrier surrounding Haven was visible. He put a raised arm against the windowsill, and leaned into it until its support seemed to be the only thing keeping him upright.

"He lied to me," Duke said quietly to himself.

Of course he lied, Dwight thought. Nathan was a smart and reliable cop, but a special part of his brain would flip right off when it came to protecting and keeping the people he loved, their preferences and the world be damned. Dwight recognized Duke's gaze of horror and inconsolable guilt as the same as the one he'd worn for the hours and days following his daughter's death. Nothing could be done; nothing needed saying. He spoke quietly to Charlotte and left the room.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

"Mother...fucker...!"

"I'm afraid those are permanent," Charlotte said from the doorway of the hospital room. She uncrossed her arms and walked in, gazing at Duke's torso. A multitude of overlaying handmarks covered Duke's torso. What Duke could see of his body, above Dwight's sweatpants, appeared almost solid black. He gaped down at himself in incomprehension and displeasure. "Don't worry, no one else can see them." She circled Duke slowly, examining the handmarks carefully. "My daughter never did anything halfway... Wait – that one on your chest." Charlotte's voice took on an urgency. "It's different. Is it recent?"

Duke turned to the small mirror above the sink in the room and looked at his own chest. He looked, and placed his fingers slowly, almost reverently, on the mark that was different from the others. "No..." he said, face stilling, voice suddenly hushed. "This was Audrey," he said to the reflection of the mark. His mind went back to the Harkers – Ben's peaceful acceptance, the gun clattering out of his grasp onto the table, the sound of Nathan tailing him, Gloria's face...

He turned back to Charlotte. "I'm sorry to sound vain, but – are you _sure_ no one else can see this?" Duke turned in place with his arms raised, as if he was on display. A scoff of disbelief. "I mean, I look like one of those bikers who just didn't know when to stop."

It took Dwight's return and repeated assurances to convince Duke that the mass of handmarks covering his torso was visible only to Charlotte and himself. Then, Duke's concern became –

"Why? Why are we the only ones who can see this?"

"The more one works with aether, the more one is able to see its various qualities and effects outside of the Void. And willingly or not, you have worked with plenty of aether recently." Duke opened his mouth and looked like he was about to ask another question, but had trouble forming one. He looked down and rubbed at his forehead. "Why don't you ride with me. We'll talk more in the car."

Duke nodded wordlessly, then turned to go. As Dwight went after him, Charlotte stopped him, her fingers pressed on his arm.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" She asked in a low voice, even though Duke was already several feet down the hall.

"Honestly?" He looked at Duke, striding away – how could one man's sweatpants fit so badly on another? – then looked at Charlotte. "No. But it's the best I could come up with. He's good with kids, and better if he's kept busy and not alone with his thoughts. Talk to him. Doesn't have to be about aether or the Troubles. He needs to trust you if you're going to work with him on that loop."

 

~~

 

Audrey picked up on the first ring. Dwight put his phone on speaker and set it on the dash.

"I'm heading to the school now. Duke's riding with Charlotte."

"Okay. I'm leaving to talk to more neighbors right now. Only two more houses left..." she paused as she shrugged on the other shoulder of her jacket. "How's Duke?"

Dwight considered. "He's...upset with Nathan. Upset with himself." He paused. Audrey waited. "Charlotte's filling him in right now. How's Nathan?"

Audrey looked back from the door of her apartment toward the bedroom and smirked at the very recent image of her lover, stretched under the sheets in full sunlight, head burrowed under the pillow.

"He's catching up on sleep."

"He's gonna stay put, right? You told him about the paperwork that's waiting for him at the station?"

"Not yet, but I – "

"Audrey."

"I just think – "

"We talked about this."

"I know."

"Do whatever you have to do. I don't want him anywhere near this investigation. He hasn't been himself since – he needs time off."

"Dwight, I agree with you. But – you know I can't control him, right?"

"Just do what you can."

 

~~

 

"Principal's expecting me," Dwight said as he, Charlotte, and Duke walked down a hallway covered in art with construction paper as a thematic medium and the occasional motivational poster. Dwight shook his head. "I hate to interrupt class for these kids, but we've got a lot of staff to get through"

Dwight rapped his knuckles against the door. It wasn't a cop knock, but it was close enough. A woman with a brown bob and a pink blouse saw them through the glass pane and came scurrying after a quick word with her students.

"Hi," she said in a hushed tone as she closed the door. "Can I help you?"

Dwight held up his badge. "Haven PD. We're here to conduct some interviews. I'm Dwight. This is Charlotte – " he looked over one shoulder. " – and Duke" the other shoulder. Dwight watched the teacher expectantly.

"Oh. Hi, I'm Heather."

"Heather, do you know a woman named Elena Bennett?"

"Elena?" Her voice stayed hushed despite the closed door. "Yes – I'm subbing for her, actually. I'm really not used to third graders."

"Are you aware of the reason for her absence?"

"Oh yes, I heard about the incident ...is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That yesterday – " her voice lowered in volume even more – "she killed...?"

"Ma'am, we haven't determined that. This is an ongoing investigation. "Did you interact with Mrs. Bennett on a daily basis?" Heather nodded. "Did you notice any changes in her behavior recently?"

"No. She's been absolutely the same in all the time I've worked with her."

"So, what has she been like? How would you describe her?"

"She's a great teacher – experienced, dedicated. She didn't talk much, mostly kept to herself when she wasn't with her kids. Shy, I guess. But if you start talking to her, you'll find that she's a really nice person. Look, I've been here myself for almost three years now. From what I know of Elena, I don't think it's possible. I really don't. I've heard the rumor, and you're here investigating, but I'm telling you, somebody made a mistake – " As they spoke, the rumble of unsupervised children had been growing in volume, and the sound of something falling prompted Heather to interrupt herself. "Listen, I can't leave them by themselves for too long."

"Duke, would you go in there and keep an eye on the kids?" Duke cast a look of confused protest over his shoulder as Charlotte nudged him into the classroom. "...I just have a couple more questions."

When the bell rang, the room was not much quieter, but there was some semblance of order in the children's singular attention. They stood swarmed around the chalkboard, gazing at and discussing the helicopter-boat that they'd built together. As Duke filled in the striping on the flag, the door opened.

"HI MISS KATIE!" A thunderous greeting to the blond woman in pumps holding a binder to her chest. She walked toward Duke. Without instruction, the children all ran back to their seats

"Who are you?"

"I'm Duke," Duke said, sparking the recurrence of an ongoing, fervent discussion among several participants: "Mr. Duke!" | "Duke Duke!" | "No, it's just Duke!" | "But that's his name, so we call him Mr. Duke." | "No, it's a title. You can't call somebody a title and then another title." | "Yeah, that's redundment! If your name's a title, it's just one word, it's just Duke – " | "He's not actually a Duke, you know – " | "How would you know?" /" – he _said_ –" | " – you don't say Duke Duke, or Prince Prince, or – " | "That's a stupid example; there's nobody named Prince!" | "But there _is_ a Martin Lu– " | " _Yeah_ , there is! My mom has all of his records!"

"A little disorganized, but engaging." The blond woman nodded. "You should sub here more often."

"I'm actually not – look I was just keeping an eye on them. Their teacher had to step out for a few minutes."

"Really." She took a long pause and looked at him assessingly. "You're good. You've never taught before? Worked with kids?" Duke shook his head and scoffed. "Well, you're a natural. With some training, and certification... you could do it, easy." She smiled at him, and an earlier version of Duke would have made a mental note to come back to the school. For a more personal investigation.

Duke smiled back at her and said, "Thanks – "

"Katie."

" – Right. Katie."

Her smile followed him out the door.

 

~~

 

Dwight glanced at Duke from the corner of his eye. Interviews at the school having been completed, they'd parted ways with Charlotte. Duke had declined Dwight's offer of getting a meal somewhere and asked to be dropped off at the docks. He hadn't said a word since he'd gotten into the passenger seat of Dwight's truck. A scenario that Dwight imagined would be peaceful and a relief – one that he'd _wished_ for on more than one occasion – turned out to be unnerving. Mile two, he'd glanced over at Duke for the first time and cleared his throat. Duke paid him no mind, just stared out the window at the coastline and the gray, solemn reminder of a backdrop. Mile six, Dwight cleared his throat again. Said, "Hey. You couldn't control what happened." Duke turned to him slowly. Looked at him blankly long enough that Dwight considered the value of those cognitive tests that the doctors _did_ say were protocol.

"I know." Duke said quietly and turned back to the window.

Right. That knowledge made no difference in how Dwight had felt, at the time. Why should he expect it to make a difference for Duke? A man who, for all his bravado and charm, had a propensity for guilt that just about matched his own. Who, Dwight sensed, had probably grown to habitually and inappropriately assume agency and personal responsibility as a survival tool. Dwight was experienced and observant enough not to need someone like Claire to tell him a thing like that.

Okay, no more talking. He was no therapist; he was just giving the man a ride home. What else was there to be said, anyway? What might have anyone said to Dwight that would have made any difference?

It took Dwight a moment to realize that Duke was patting him on the arm. "Stop. Stop." Duke's eyes were focused on something behind them. Dwight pulled over.

"There was somebody out here," Duke said as he slammed the door behind him . Dwight followed him and scanned their surroundings. The area was clear.

"Uh – are you sure? I don't see anyone."

Duke shook his head. "No, no, not here. Back there."He pointed in the direction from which they'd come. "Just a second ago. I saw a little girl – or a very small woman – somebody in a dress – standing here. She couldn't have gone far." Duke began to jog back down the road, along the guardrail.

"Duke!" Dwight called after him, without moving. Duke didn't stop. "I was driving; I would have seen – " But Duke had hopped the rail and moved into the brush. Dwight shook his head in frustration and took off running toward where Duke had gone, wondering which part of the brain had to be damaged to cause a person to have visual hallucinations, if such a thing was fixable. By the time he got to the spot where Duke had disappeared, Duke was already too far ahead to be visible. He listened, trying to distinguish the sound of human movement from the sound of strong wind gusts moving the brush. It was nearing sunset, and he didn't have time to play hide and seek.

He swung his legs over the guardrail and slammed through the brush. "Slow down, man!" He pawed at eye-level branches, stopping every few steps to listen. Just as Dwight thought, _that's it we're going to let the docs show you those flashcards and play 20 questions like we should have done in the first place_ , he heard what sounded like a splash. _Christ_. He burst into a run in the direction of his best guess. Stopped at a clearing, flat rocks at the beginning of a steep incline into a small curve of coast the shape of a mini-cove. _Jesus fucking Christ._ A few feet wide of Dwight's estimate, was Duke, in the water. Water that had to be below 40 at this time of day.

"Duke! What the hell are you doing!" If Duke could hear him, he gave no indication. He dove under the water. A few seconds later, he re-merged with a patch of pink around his arm. No, red and white stripes. A red and white striped dress. A girl, in a red and white striped dress. _Well, fuck me_. Duke began to swim back to shore with her in tow. When he got close enough to be no longer visible from Dwight's vantage point, Dwight moved down the rock and sand scramble to where he knew Duke would end up.

"I told you," Duke gasped when they met at the bottom of the scramble. The girl was conscious, appearing hypothermic but not distressed at all. Duke passed the girl to Dwight. They made it back to the truck, with the girl hacking seawater over Dwight's shoulder. Dwight shoved the two violently shivering people into the backseat and tossed a blanket and a frayed, retired sleeping bag after them. He leaned in to key the engine and put the heat on full blast, then closed the door.

Two missed calls from Audrey. Dwight stood, fingering his radio and trying to figure out what to do next. She couldn't have fallen. It would have been a quick scramble down the rocky slope, but that long flat outcropping of rock and scattering of exposed tree roots required entry into the water to be deliberate. Children of her age usually did not attempt suicide without an external cause. She'd given him her full name between coughs. He called it in. Then, he called Audrey.

"Dwight."

"Hey, Audrey."

"Today, at the school, did you speak with a teacher named Katelin Day?" She asked without preamble.

"No...?"

"Okay, good," she breathed a sigh of relief, "good. She's Troubled. She has a wishing Trouble – she's the common link between the Gerry's Lake homicide, and the delusional guy at the bank, and – and the streaker from yesterday – "

"You're telling me that a wishing Trouble caused a homicide?"

"Yes! It didn't click for me until now. I just spoke with her – well, before that, I interviewed Mrs. Bennett. Mrs. Bennett, she said that her husband was controlling and abusive, that she'd fantasized for years of getting away from him. But she was afraid of him. Didn't think anyone would believe her. Didn't want people to think she was crazy. She said she felt that there wasn't anything she could do – until she talked to Katie, her coworker and a fellow teacher. Mrs. Bennett said that the conversation didn't have anything to do with her husband, but later that night, she and her husband were arguing after dinner. He started to hit her with one of the plates. She said that she heard Katie's voice in her head telling her that she didn't have to be afraid – and she fought back." Silence on the other line as Dwight absorbed the story. "Apparently, Katie has a knack for working with kids who are struggling academically, some sort of visualization technique. I think the way this Trouble works is, people who get encouraged by Katie really, really believe it. She changes their reality to fit their deepest desires."

"So... she makes people's wishes come true...but only in their own minds." Dwight concluded.

"Yeah. Not so much of a problem if your wish is to be reading at the same level as your peers. Other wishes, though... Okay, I told Katie not to say anything encouraging to anyone for the time being. Better yet, not to speak with anyone at all, if possible. It's getting late, but I'll see if I can talk to at least one of our other confirmed wishers. See how long the wishes last for people who didn't do something as life-changing as Mrs. Bennett."

"Okay."

When Dwight walked back to his truck, the girl was looking better. She sat with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders and most of her body engulfed in the sleeping bag. There was a small soggy heap of red and white stripes next to her.

"Hey, kiddo. How you feeling?"

"Fine," the girl chirped.

"You wanna tell me what you were doing out there?

"I'm a mermaid, she said simply. "I can be whatever I want to be, and I chose mermaid."

"...Okay." Duke nodded thoughtfully. "That's...an interesting choice."

"Do your parents know you're out here?" Dwight asked.

The girl's response was cut short by a flash of headlights from an oncoming vehicle. The Bronco braked sharply, stopping parallel to Dwight's truck, edging the shoulder of the road. Nathan hopped out, followed by a short woman in a jacket and paisley dress.

Dwight started toward him "Nathan, what are you – "

"Was helping Ms. Vega look for her niece. Then I heard your call on the radio." Nathan took in the sight of a drenched Duke, with the equally drenched girl in Dwight's truck. "What happened?" He ask, with annoyance bordering on accusation. Dwight was fairly certain Nathan wasn't asking about the girl.

The woman Dwight took to be Ms. Vega ran to his truck and began to speak with the girl from outside. Duke got out to make room, and Ms. Vega took his place in the backseat.

"Duke saw her from the side of the road."

"She was already in the water by the time I got to her." Duke added, as he strolled to Dwight's side. "Think this girl might need a psych eval. Thinks she's a mermaid."

"She might not." Off Duke's confused look, "There's a wishing Trouble. A teacher there is making people's wishes come true – but only in their own minds. She encourages people, and their dreams come true."

Nathan nodded. "You've talked to Audrey."

"Yeah." Dwight looked back at the girl, then at Duke. "I got a hunch it was her teacher who told her she can be whatever she wants to be."

"I checked with Audrey - she's on the list of students Katie teaches," Nathan said. "The affected adults are going to be harder to identify."

"Uh – hang on." Duke raised a hand. "I... may... have talked to a Miss Katie, at the school today." Dwight and Nathan turned to Duke with the same frown. "But – it was just for a few minutes and I didn't wish for anything!" Duke said defensively.

Nathan shook his head. "There are a lot of female teachers at the school, and we don't know if she's the only Katelin – or Kate – " he shrugged " – Katie."

"Alright. I was on my way there, but I need to talk to her." Dwight inclined his head toward Ms. Vega and her niece. "Can you take him back to the Rouge?" He turned away before Nathan could give an answer.

Duke's annoyance – at being spoken about as if he wasn't there and likely at the prospect of spending time with Nathan – showed plainly. But he trudged to the passenger seat and buckled in without complaint. He was glad to be inside again. Without the adrenaline rush, the few minutes he'd just spent outside had made him feel more cold than he had coming out of the water. He clutched his mouth shut, grinding his molars to keep his teeth from chattering. He was shivering again, thankfully not bad enough to be noticeable to Nathan while driving.

"Do you feel any urge to do something – illegal?" Nathan asked. Duke looked at him, clearly displeased with the question. And with him in general, Nathan considered. "More illegal than usual?" Nathan wasn't really worried. Duke's desires tended to be embarrassingly obvious and their fulfillment sought out immediately. But he had to ask. Even if there was no real reason to worry.

"...No." A firm, terse statement with no eye contact. How Duke communicates when he's pissed, whether or not he'll ever admit it – _He never wants to fight._ – to Nathan, as infuriating as it was familiar.

Silence in the cab.

Duke was looking forward to some quality time with a bottle of bourbon. Whatever anger he felt, about Nathan lying to him, he decided to let it go. He knew the reasoning behind it, and he wasn't dumb enough to expect an apology. It wasn't the first time Nathan had lied to him, and it wouldn't be the last. He knew it was never malicious – Nathan's faith in his own reality always superseded all else. Duke had begun to see that as their time together ended. And nothing made it more clear than watching everything that's happened with Audrey. There was only one thing that mattered enough to say. "You should have let me go through the thinny, Nathan." He bit out.

"You know I couldn't do that." Nathan said quietly, so quietly, as if the delivery would soften the selfishness of such a statement. Nathan was forever soft-spokenly imposing his worldview and preferences upon others. _  
_

 _Call it, like you've wanted to for so long._ "You're a selfish bastard, Nathan."

Nathan drove, eyes fixed on the road, silent, jaw clenched. When Duke finally looked away, he reached out and cranked the heat up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Let's pretend Jordan was not killed, for the sake of my little story. Her character was so well-conceived and -acted. I really, really wanted to see her get to the other side. And, to be honest, there are probably going to be further deviations from canon. But that's the point of writing one's own, story, right?) 
> 
> ~~
> 
>  
> 
> See?!? You can beat the Troubles!  
> -Duke Crocker
> 
>  
> 
> ~~

The Cape Rouge felt distant. Almost resentful. Duke attributed it to the fact that he'd left her without a proper goodbye, with the intention of never seeing her again, hastening to his life's final journey – without her.

"I'll make it up to you, baby," Duke patted the maple tabletop softly, listing slightly on the stool, his other hand gripping the neck of a near-empty Old Fitzgerald.

Nathan had dropped him off at the marina some time ago. It has been one of their wordless partings. A slow inhale and quick backward glance from Duke, a grunt from Nathan, the Bronco's door slamming shut swiftly.

He had intended to say goodbye to Nathan. When he was Void-bound. Or at least wanted to. But there was no time. In his head, Duke would seek Nathan out, explain to him exactly what he was doing, and Nathan would hear him out, and approve. Duke snorted at the pathetically idealistic thought, formed by his sober, slightly more optimistic self. He honestly could not remember the last time Nathan approved of anything he did. The last time Nathan looked at him in a way that made him want to be seen.

Duke listed again, this time the momentum pulling him into what could pass as standing, one hand anchored to the bourbon bottle anchored to the table anchored to the floorboards of his boat anchored to...Haven. Duke felt his eyes watering. He shook his head. Time to shuffle off to bed and pass out before he did anymore of the kind of thinking a person would have a hard time recovering from.

He heard a sound from above deck. Someone was on his boat.

Nathan. No one else came aboard the Cape Rouge with such an air of propriety, not even bothering to make a quiet entrance, or consider knocking. The man seemed to have some kind of radar, for being present to witness Duke at his absolute worst.

The footsteps got louder as they approached, and Duke noticed, in his drunken state, with only a small measure of alarm, that the cadence of the footfalls did not sound like Nathan's.

He turned to look with red-rimmed eyes.

Standing at the entryway of the kitchen was a brown-haired woman in a lime green sweater, with collar and cuffs of a white button-down shirt peeking out. Her hands were closed in fists, wrapped in thick layers of gauze and medical tape.It was the preppy woman at the Gull, complaining about store-bought Kahlúa. The woman he'd Troubled.

"Down here!" She yelled over her shoulder before turning to look at him with undeniable hatred.

More footsteps, and then appeared Jordan and three men Duke didn't recognize. They all had Guard tattoos oon their forearms.

"What are you doing on my boat," Duke directed his unfocused eyes to Jordan.

"What do you _think_ , Crocker?" Jordan cocked her head and gave him her usual gaze of detesting black slits. She and the woman from the Gull stayed near the entryway as the three men began to walk toward Duke.

They did not look like they wanted to be friends. Duke considered what tools of defense he had available nearby. In the few seconds he had, the only options were a firearm under the sink and the knife in his back pocket. He didn't get to either of them. Before Duke could get another word out, the first blow landed on the side of his face. The impact sent him back onto the barstool, then he was being hauled back up, only to double over from several quick jabs at the abdomen. His temple caught the side of the stool as he fell. He felt something crash onto the back of his neck, then he was rolling, being dragged, kicked. Part of him cursed himself for being too drunk, too slow to defend himself. Another part of him was quiet with Zen-like acceptance, aware that he deserved all of this and more.

Another round of boots landed on his ribs, then they stopped. Duke lay spreadeagle on the floor, limbs pinned down. He struggled to catch his breath in harsh wheezes and coughs.

Jordan was suddenly standing over him. In Duke's blurred view from below, the light hitting the crown of her head made a halo. The side of her boot was cold against his midriff where his shirt had ridden up.

"Do you have any idea what you've done? To this town? To Lisa?" She tilted her head at the woman from the Gull. Duke supposed preppy woman's name was Lisa. "Everything she touches with her palms explodes. She can't perform basic tasks for herself. Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?"

Jordan straddled him in a quick, rough motion – Duke gasped involuntarily from her weight – and ripped his shirt open. She paused, studying his chest at such length that he wondered if she could too see Mara's handprints.

"There is one thing you and I have in common," Jordan said as she began to pull off one of her gloves. "All we can give is pain."

Duke wished she was wrong. He wished he could take back the all the Troubles he's given out, wished for Jordan's skin to give more than pain, and not just because the recipient was soon to be him.

He felt something shift inside, an alignment of some previously unused cogging. In the back of his mind, he knew it was Katie's Trouble, but that knowledge could not compete with this new sense of certainty and peace: Duke Crocker could take away Troubles, at will, without killing anyone. He could take away Jordan's Trouble. He would take away Jordan's Trouble. It felt more than possible. He was certain that he would.

Duke's eyes made contact with Jordan's. She did not look away. His gaze grew in intensity, commanding an opening in her. She did not look away. He felt a connection of a type he'd never felt before being established. Their eyes were now locked, their attention on only each other as everything and everyone became translucent, unimportant. From somewhere far away, there was shouting, the sound of rushed footsteps. In their shared timeless trance, Jordan's breaths slowed in tandem to his - his exhale to her inhale, his inhale to her exhale, even and deep. Jordan's hands were frozen in front of her chest in the act of pulling off her glove, like a demonstration video on pause. Duke caught a whiff of something that smelled like Nathan's aftershave, felt interference in the periphery trying to pull Jordan away from him. But he wasn't done yet. They weren't done yet. She knew this too; her legs were gripped tight around his midsection. All he could see was Jordan. Their breaths were all he could hear.

The aether exited through Jordan's left tear duct, tracking down for a few millimeters before gently lifting from her cheek, and disappearing into Duke's mouth. He swallowed and broke away.

As Duke's breaths returned to a more natural pace, things that were not Jordan came back into focus - overturned furniture, Nathan standing over both of them wearing his standard inscrutable expression, Dwight near the doorway. The three men from the Guard and Lisa were nowhere to be seen.

Duke looked up at Jordan. She was focused on her own hands. Slowly, she completed the removal of her glove and set her hand on Duke's chest.

Docile under her hand was only the warmth of Duke's skin, the soft quick rhythm of his heartbeats. No flinching, no screaming, no agony, no shame. All he felt was her touch. All he felt was her.

Duke lay pliant under Jordan as she began to make sounds of grief and joy – for the loss of a burden that had nearly consumed her identity. Halting, loud hiccups quickly grew into sobs. It felt as if he had not just pulled out her Trouble but in doing so, shook loose all the pain in which it had been rooted, years of tightly packed dirt suddenly aerated and workable, in unmanageable volume.

He sat up slowly, awkwardly, instinctively not wanting to disturb the woman falling apart on top of him. Jordan did not move away; once Duke was sitting all the way up, he found himself nearly nose to nose with her. Her mascara was running all over the place. A few tear diluted drops of it landed on his chest. In a slow and hesitant motion, Duke wrapped an arm around her, rested his fingertips between her shoulder blades, uncertain if his touch would be welcome. As he incrementally brought his palm flat against her back, she clung to him in response.

They both shook with her sobs, pelvis to pelvis, her legs straddling his hips in what could be a lovers' embrace, but for their clothes and the sounds coming out of her – which had escalated into something more like the wailing of a dying animal than a crying woman.

Above where his chin dipped in her hair, Duke's eyes glowed a dark metallic silver.

 

~~

 

Once Nathan had made sure everyone was off the Rouge, and and after a quiet exchange with Dwight about the internal political mess of the Guard during which he expressed very little of the anger he felt, he headed back inside. It was well past midnight; he could smell the growing coastal fog.

Inside, Duke was standing in the bathroom with the door open, poking at a lower rib. The well-lit space brought out his bloodshot eyes and multi-hued bruises on his chest. He glanced up at Nathan's silent entry. Seemed neither surprised nor not surprised that Nathan was still on his boat.

"So who was it?" Duke said to Nathan's reflection in the mirror. He rinsed his hands and began dabbing at a cut on his chin with antiseptic.

"He wouldn't say." Nathan reminded himself to investigate for himself who gave Dwight the tip off. "We know at least one person in the Guard likes you."

Duke shrugged, tried for a grin. "I'm a likeable guy."

Nathan stepped in close to him, giving away to anyone who would care to look the one obvious tell neither of them could ever bothered to hide – personal space was (still) unparsed between the two of them. In an achingly familiar motion, Nathan reached out and grazed the side of Duke's face with his fingertips.

"Your eyes."

Without turning away from Nathan one bit, Duke glanced sideways at their reflection – had the ridiculous thought that they ( _still_ ) looked good together, silver and blue complements in their irises.

"Yeah, I don't know when that's going away."

Nathan nodded almost imperceptibly, his eyes still on Duke. His fingertips did not move away.

Duke made the mistake of looking back.

It was in moments like this that a dangerous jumble of possibilities blended and filled the small space between them –  Duke grabbing Nathan by the collar with a hunger justified by years of being apart; Nathan reciprocating with eyes closed, going by an ancient muscle memory –  

_I still love you /let's just start over / we're not kids anymore / you haven't changed at all / why can't you just forgive me / it's been so long, how is it that I / still love you / haven't changed at all/ still want you/ don't know how not to be angry with you / it's been so long / I know you still / love / don't know how / let's just / I can't go through this again / start over /want you /_

_Stay._  

Nathan dropped his hand. "I should go." He cleared his throat. Looked like he was on the verge of saying more, and – (Duke knew what was next)  – turned away and left.

 

~~

 

 

_White. Endless white in all directions; no reference point of a horizon, no wall corners, not even shadows. Nathan looked down at the body. The stark contrast between it and the absolute blankness of the surroundings gave him the notion that Duke's body was the only thing that existed, the only thing that has ever existed – and would not exist if Nathan were not witness to it. And so he must not look away, lest nothing at all exists. He did not consider his own existence, nor take note of the feeling of gravity's pull on his body, the texture of his clothes against his skin._

_He kept focus on the body, willed himself not to blink._

_The infinite, monotone scenery melted into the morgue. He was still standing over the body. Gloria stood across from him. Slowly, she began to slide the drawer shut._

_"Wait – " he began. There was a continuous fuzzy static in the air that he hadn't noticed until he tried to speak. He could barely hear himself over it. "Wait," he tried again. Then, he was shrinking. So quickly that it felt like falling. He said "Wait" again at toddler height. By the time the drawer was completely closed, Nathan was a speck on the ground._

_~~_

 

 

"Nathan. Hey. Na – " His eyes opened. Audrey was lying next to him under the cover, propped up on her elbow. looking at him with concern. "You okay?"

He didn't know. "Think so."

"You were saying 'wait' over and over again."

"Uh – " Nathan rubbed at his eyes, covering them under his fingers, trying to remember what he was just doing. The room was bright with warm stripes made by half-open blinds. All he could fee was the warmth of Audrey's body next to him. "I was... late for something, I guess."

"Sounded like it was pretty important."

He shrugged, "Doesn't matter now. It was just a dream."

"Uh huh." She didn't look like she was buying it, but didn't comment any further before sliding off the bed and heading into the bathroom. A few seconds later, he heard the soft white noise of the shower.

Audrey had left the door slightly open. Normally, he'd get into the bathroom a few minutes later, brush his teeth and get his very old-fashioned shaving items set up before it was his turn to shower.

He sat up. Covered his eyes again, trying to get back to where he just was. What was he late for? Even floating-numb in the darkness, with hardly any input from his surroundings, he could not remember. Then, Audrey was talking about breakfast.

 

~~

 

 

Audrey squinted into the midday sun as she drove to Katie's house, one hand on the steering wheel, one hand holding her phone in front of her on speaker. She deeply regretted having left her sunglasses on top of Nathan's drawer.

"Dwight, I told you to wait for us,"  she hissed into the phone. "No. No, Nathan's not with me." ... "Yeah." ... "Would you just – just wait until I get there, alright?"

Katie's house had teal shingles and a yard that was well-maintained in the center and impassably overgrown on the periphery. Dwight, Duke, and Katie sat around a white metal table in matching white metal chairs. The sun was out, birds chirping, they could, by appearance, be a group of friends gathering to catch up over beers.

Dwight stood up and walked over to Audrey when he saw her.

"Hi." Audrey stepped awkwardly over a bush that was growing almost directly in front of the gate. She tilted her chin toward Duke and Katie, who appeared to be in deep discussion. "What's going on?"

"She's heard of the Troubles." Dwight prefaced. "Believes in them. But, the one that she has? The wishing one – she's not sure if she wants to give that up. Being a teacher, encouraging kids... it's who she is. Being better at it doesn't sound all that bad."

"Did you tell her about – "

Dwight nodded quickly. "Duke's taking a crack at it."

Audrey watched Duke talk quietly with Katie. He looked a bit hungover, but otherwise okay.

"So he really did it." She said, half statement, half question. "Duke took someone's Trouble away."

"Two people. Last night and this morning." He quirked an eyebrow and headed off what he expected Audrey to say next. "I would have waited, but Lisa was desperate. And he – " a glance toward Duke " – was more than willing."

Audrey nodded. Tried to look reassured. She didn't know whether Dwight knew of the addictively euphoric effect of Troubled blood on Crockers and wasn't sure if she wanted him to know under current circumstances. Before she could come up with anything more to say to deflect Dwight from the true cause of her concern, Dwight had turned his attention away from her and to Duke and Katie, who had stopped talking.

They sat in silence, Katie's hand on the table, Duke's hand covering hers. They looked like teenage lovers who were alone together for the very first time, all self-consciousness and unmistakable chemistry. Katie tipped her head up to look at Duke. He looked back at her. They sat there, staring at each other for nearly a minute. Then, Duke curled his fingers around Katie's in a light squeeze before lifting his hand, standing up.

He strode toward Dwight and Audrey, his eyes flashing in the sunlight like tiny mirrors. Katie sat mutely in the background, still staring at her hand on the white table top.

"I think it worked," he said with a grin. He was breathing like someone just returned from a jog. His cheeks were flushed, pupils almost nonexistent. "Gets easier every time."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love isn't brains children, it's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will.  
> – Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

 

The hum of the road was the only sound in Audrey's sedan. Duke sat crammed beside her, knees jutting up and braced against the glove box.

Audrey licked her lips.

Her voice burst into the silence: “Do you - do you ever – dream? 

He wrinkled his nose. “Not if I can help it.”

“I've been... having these dreams, I guess. I'm not sure if they're mine.”

In her peripheral vision, Duke's head swiveled toward her. She had his attention now. And she didn't know exactly what she was trying to say or how to say it.

She tried for a different angle: “Doesn't it seem strange... that.” _God, this is going to sound awful. 'I'm Audrey Parker and I”m perfect!'_ “That there's nothing about me worth... hating?” _(worth loving)_

“What?”

“Claire told me that everyone has these soft spots. Their own special flaws or insecurities that can make other people... dislike them. Makes it easy for other people to hurt them. Everyone has these.” Audrey stopped, with last word on a rising intonation.

Duke gave a sage nod. _Go on._

“Where are mine?”

Duke pursed his lips, shifted his eyes in search of an answer at the top of the windshield.

If anyone could tell her, it'd be him.

“Don't you think that's strange? I don't have any raw place for anyone to hurt me, no faults for anyone to hate – Duke, isn't that strange?” Her voice pleaded with him to agree. "And don't - don't tell me about my laundry, and the mugs. Clutter doesn't count. It happens for everyone and it's only because I've been busy."

Duke couldn't be sure with the background sounds in the car, but he thought he heard her voice break at the end. Audrey's eyes were wide and intently gazing at the road in front of her.

"Audrey..."

"I'm not blind to the soft spots." she almost whispers. "I see it, in you - and Nathan. Nathan, with you. And Dwight and - and my _mother_."

In a way, he knew what she meant, even if he didn't know exactly how to put it in words either. Lucy was the same way. A bland, helpful presence. And then she'd changed. She'd always been kind to him, but his only observation of the change as a child was that he became someone who _mattered_ , to her. Which made her different from all the other adults. He'd hoped that she would adopt him. But about a week after the change, she was gone. It was then that he started getting used to people leaving.

The memory of one of Mara's tirades intruded into his thoughts:

 _"...your_ boyfriend _. Don't think I can't see it. The two of you,_ flailing _in the wreckage of your relationship. How your face hardens from his mildly dismissive comments. How he couldn't_ breathe _when he thought you were dead. When was that? ...oh yeah. The day you made Audrey-husk."_

_"Do not call her that."_

_"Sorry, Audrey_ Parker _. God, you'd think everything in this town was about Audrey Parker.”_

Audrey was no husk. Audrey was a friend. She was nice. Funny. Resourceful. He would never con her. But even if he wanted to, he wouldn't know how. There wasn't anything in her for a con man to pull on, to reel her in, to press her into submission, to send her running...

Duke was still lost in thought when the car crunched onto the gravel in front of the Grey Gull. As Audrey unbuckled her seatbelt, she caught a quick glimpse of Nathan in profile, inside the restaurant. He was talking with... was that Little Mike? Her view was interrupted by a group of patrons walking by.

“What does this all have to do with your dreams?”

Duke, apparently, had not seen Nathan.

Audrey shut off the engine.

The words came slow and hesitant, picking up speed and confidence as she continued.

“In them, I feel things I _thought_ I've felt before. But in the dreams, there is fear, pain, confusion, grief... so intense. _Close_. Like they're mine, my soft spots. Duke, I think I'm starting to remember who I was, _before_. Not just Mara, the others too. It's all jumbled, my memories from the Barn, from before the Barn. It's like parts of me know things that the other parts don't. And the things, they're finally clicking.”

“What things?”

The woman next to him leveled what was definitely a Mara gaze. “I know it was important to fill you up with aether. I'm not sure why. What happened next... I don't think – No, I _know_ it wasn't what she – I? - meant to happen.”

Duke nodded slowly.

“I can't hate her anymore, Duke,” she confessed. “When you separated us, I wanted nothing to do with her. But I'm finding out, more and more every night, I am her. Or, was.” She searched his expression and found no judgment or fear. “Look, there's still a lot I don't understand. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all of it, so for now, please just – don't tell Nathan, alright?”

 

~

 

Their game of Gin Rummy was well underway when Duke's phone buzzed in his pocket. He and Audrey were in her apartment, having an early dinner.

He glanced at the screen. Text message from Nathan: “Where r u?” Duke shoved the phone back into his pocket.

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed again. And again. And again.

“Duke?” Audrey raised an eyebrow as she wiped a strand of cheese from the corner of her mouth. She set her panini down. Eyed him expectantly.

It was too damn quiet in Audrey's apartment.

He didn't even need to look at the screen to know who it was. Didn't even get a chance to say hello. The moment Duke held the phone to his ear -

“Duke, I need to know where you are,” Nathan said in Serious Cop Voice. Duke labeled it that because Nathan must have learned that forceful and stick-up-his-ass way of talking at the academy. He never used to talk to Duke that way.

“Is there a flower delivery I should be expecting?” Duke asked innocently.

There was a short burst of angry silence. Then, Audrey's phone rang.

“Nathan?” Audrey listened for a second before putting Nathan on speaker. “Yeah. We're in my apartment.”

“Good.” Nathan responded. That... was not what Duke was expecting. “Stay there. I'll be right there.”

Fifteen minutes later – the quick efficient sound of keying at a familiar door, and Nathan burst into the apartment. He had his cop face on but relaxed incrementally when he saw Duke.

Audrey stood up to close the few feet of distance between them.

“What's going on?” she asked.

Nathan darted a quick glance over Audrey's shoulder at Duke like he was contraband.

“We need to hide him.”

“Uh – hello? _He_ is standing right here.” Duke pointed to himself emphatically as he spoke over Audrey's quieter “Why?”

“Got a tipoff from Riley and Little Mike. There are members of the Guard looking for you. You, taking Troubles without killing – word's spread: every Troubled person in town probably knows by now, even if not everyone wants to capture you.”

“' _Capture_ ' him?” Audrey.

“Yeah,” Nathan said nodding, eyes fixed on Duke. “A lot of people seem to think you owe them a cure. If you go out there now, they're gonna take you somewhere, and keep you there until the last Troubled person's been cured. We need to talk to Dwight, to negotiate the – use of your – new skill.”

“Negotiate the humane treatment of – ” Duke spread his palms over his chest. “ - Haven's new golden-egg-laying-goose. This goose has right.” He grinned.

Nathan gave him the disdainful knitted eyebrow raise; _Really? This is how you're going to handle the situation?_ The micro-expression always got some sort of reaction from Duke. “You know what happens to that goose at the end of the story?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Duke looked deflated. “Shut up.”

“Okay, let's go.” Audrey said. She holstered her sidearm and grabbed her jacket.

“We'll put you on speaker when we're there – ” Nathan continued.

“Wait, what? Seriously, you -”

“ - Stay here and don't answer the door."

“Uh...” Duke huffed out a sarcastic half-chuckle. “Don't you think you're being a little too uptight about this? I mean – even for you, Nate."

"No. You need to stay here out of sight.”

"Audrey, help me out here. This is ridiculous!"

Audrey gave a soft flip of her hair as she turned to Duke with her look of Disapproval. "I agree with him."

Duke groaned, threw his arms up, and folded them over his chest as he sat back down in one swift full body pout. Audrey patted his shoulder. "We'll be back soon."

 

~~

 

Visible through the window of Dwight's office was the cloudwall around Haven's periphery, lit up by sunset in ombre gray – yellow – orange – red - lavender. With the spectacular background and Charlotte's face in the foreground, it was all Dwight could do, not to stare.

“How's your list coming along?” He asked abruptly.

That was what she was here for, he reminded himself. What _they_ were here for. He would not allow his desire to cloud his judgment again.

Charlotte had been working on a spreadsheet of active Troubles, sorting by risk assessment. Troubles at the top were the most volatile and potentially dangerous.

“Growing. The announcement you put out really helped. I've been getting calls pretty much non-stop for the past few hours. They're tapering down now.” She hesitated with parted lips, on the verge of saying more. “It's... an extensive list. Over sixty and counting. But at least we're gaining a clear understanding of the situation.”

Dwight nodded.

“Tomorrow, we get Duke, start working from the top. If we work fast, we could get this town Troubles-free in -” he shrugged. “ - a week?”

“If _Duke_ works fast.” Charlotte reminded him. “But, we should approach these Troubles one at a time,” she began carefully, anticipating his reaction. “Monitor Duke and the people he's cured. Keep a few hours of buffer in between.”

“'One at a time'? We cured two people today. Took about ten minutes each time.”

“I know -”

“You saw him yourself, taking Lisa's Trouble – just like –” he snapped his fingers “– that.”

“The aether... It's not like gasoline or silly putty. It's not something you just _use_. Working with it demands balance. And sacrifice. My husband didn't just die, his whole being was taken – engorged - by it. There are consequences -” She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “It's... a semi-sentient primordial lifeblood. Without proper handling, it becomes malignant and can change you, make you do its will. We need to take a measured approach, because we don't know what could happen -”

“We don't know what new Trouble could be activated tomorrow.” Dwight countered.

“I understand that moving slowly has its own risks, but we need Duke. He almost died from the overload because he wasn't able to hold or safely release all that aether. He's learned to pull, now, but it won't do any good if he can't hold on to and control the aether he takes.”

“So teach him. The people in Haven need their Troubles cured. Why are you so focused on collecting aether?”

“I'm not,” She responded quickly. “Not for its own sake, but aether collection is the underlying mechanics behind curing the Troubles.”

“You need it to get back home? Is that it?”

"Stop it," Charlotte snapped. "Stop treating me like I'm the enemy. I am not a threat to Haven. I am on your side, Dwight. I always have been. It's been almost two weeks now, and I'm still here. I'm still trying to end the Troubles, like I've been doing for _centuries_."

“Why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?”

“I knew... that if I revealed too early, that I was connected to the origin of the Troubles in any way, you – the people in this town – wouldn't trust me enough to let me help. When would have been a good time, to tell you that I'm the mother of the creator of the Troubles?” She challenged. “That someone in your world interfered with my holding pattern for her, so now I'm here to understand and mitigate the consequences?”

She searched his eyes and saw that he finally understood.

“I trusted you,” he admitted, softly as a secret.

“Do you trust me still?”

The question hung in the air for a moment before dissipating in a crash of urgent contact.

She ruined at least two buttons on his shirt in its removal. He didn't say _Yes_. One of her shoes landed in the trash can. She didn't say _I'm glad_. They undressed each other in rushed silence. Dwight had the fleeting thought that the door was not locked, but then her top came off and it didn't seem to matter. She pulled him close in a magnetic clasp. As her hands snaked along his back, he tasted in succession her lips and each nipple and did not say _I'm sorry I doubted you_.

They exchanged rhythm with complete attention, making up for time lost to misunderstanding and self-denial. In an eight-minute moment, there was clarity and no distance. He came the hardest he had in years. She heard him groan, and it pleased her.

 _I think I'm in love with you,_ she didn't say.

 

~

 

It was evening by the time Nathan drove Duke back to the marina. Instead of a straight-shot through a residential area of town, he took the Bronco round Gerry's Lake, passing an unnamed field. A small hill column kept the field out of sight from the houses on the other side.

Duke would always think of that field as theirs; he would never tell Nathan.

He glanced over. Wondered if Nathan even remembered, if the time they spent there was even worth remembering, now. Nathan's face outlined by refracted headlights and the low rumble of the engine with the exterior sound of crickets and tree frogs were familiar, enough only to remind Duke of how far he and Nathan were, from simpler times. From each other.

Nathan eased the Bronco to a slow stop when they reached the marina.

"You really thought she was going to help you, didn't you?"

It wasn't an Officer Wuornos question. It was a Nate question – a quiet, intense blurt of curiosity with no explanation, no eye contact. The kind of question during which stroking fingers would pause and lay still, buried in Duke's hair and Duke would feel his lover's breath pause for the answer.

Duke took in and let out a deep breath before answering. "I...hoped."

Nathan nodded. Gave a soft “hm” that Duke felt and saw more than heard.

“Doesn't matter now, right?” Duke tried and failed at nonchalance. “Two Troubles down today, more tomorrow...”

“Don't go curing random Troubles on your own - ”

“I know – ” Duke began to say, but it was as if Nathan had suddenly remembered Duke's horrendous track record in sticking to plans.

“If anyone contacts you with a cure request, you direct them to Charlotte like we discussed - ”

“Nathan, I know, we just went over this.”

“You should be safe but if you notice anything – off – you call me, or Audrey, or Dwight. I know you can handle yourself but it's not just your safety – perception matters; people need to be able to trust the process.” Nathan reached across to pop open the glove box and toss the Crocker family journal into Duke's lap. “Here,” he said, voice huskier. “Been meaning to give this back to you.”

Nathan didn't continue his lecture. He also didn't really move back into the driver's seat but remained with torso pitched forward, his face very close to Duke's. His hand lingered. Long, slim fingers skimming the glove box he had just closed – fingers Duke had found many times to be more eloquent than their owner.

Duke stared back at his ex-boyfriend turned enemy turned friend, unsure of which one he was seeing right up until Nathan leaned in and kissed him. The first brush of lip on lip was soft and hesitant. Duke responded with a bit more force and it quickly escalated to an old, familiar prelude. Duke broke away just enough to make eye contact.

"You took the long way on purpose."

"Wanted to see if you remembered."

Duke stroked his thumb across Nathan's cheek before releasing him. _Of course I remember, you idiot._

"You should get back. Audrey will be waiting."

 

~

 

Now that he was going to live, Duke had things to attend to. Things he had been putting off. Things he thought he would have to leave undone. He went through text and voice messages from business associates, parrying back a few replies. There was an email from Ginger he finally responded to. His update about himself was not dishonest but left out some key details. He finally moved Jennifer's book from his nightstand to a bookshelf. 

Then, he poured himself a finger of scotch and sat down with the glass and the Crocker family journal.

 _Katie McCormick – wishing Trouble ,_ he began to write his first entry in it.

Although it was common for Crockers of different generations to notate manifestations of the same Trouble, Duke had never written in it. Until now.

After completing his first entry, Duke rifled through a kitchen drawer to find a photo that he had received begrudgingly but nevertheless kept. Using a near-empty bottle of superglue, he very carefully pasted the picture of him, Audrey, and Nathan inside the back cover of the journal.

There weren't many pages left, but that was fine. There would be no second volume. He'll make sure of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a playlist i made for the series: https://8tracks.com/yuki_w/wtbk   
> (there may be latent spoilers if you listen beyond track 3, at this point)


End file.
